When the truth comes out
by Loz06
Summary: Neil.Andrea. Sequel to 'Trying not to drift apart'. No more secrets, no more lies. Andrea knows what she wants in her life and that means telling Neil the truth…even if it means losing him.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: When the truth comes out.

**Author**: Loz

**E-Mail**: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com

**Rating**: T (Smidgen more language than usual)

**Category**: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.

**Series**: Story number nineteen. What follows are titles and story ID numbers:

_**(1) **After he's at her door – 2486705 **(10) **When they're stuck together – 2611364_

_**(2) **When the mighty fall – 2506192 **(11)** When they're back together – 2619492_

_**(3) **While his wife's away – 2525486 **(12) **Life almost in balance – 2630121_

_**(4) **While they're away – 2543010 **(13) **Life under pressure – 2666280_

_**(5) **When love's not working – 2543013 **(14) **Trying to have a life together – 2699235_

_**(6) **Boundaries when broken up – 2562611 **(15) **Outside influences on their lives – 2704730_

_**(7) **What happens on the train – 2579012 **(16) **When things start falling apart – 2727112_

_**(8) **When they work together – 2595808 **(17)** When they're approaching the end again - 2750079_

**_(9)_** _When she wants him back – 2598312 **(18) **Trying not to drift apart – 2891564_

**_(19)_** _When the truth comes out - 2912317_

**Spoilers**: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.

**Archive** (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06

**Feedback**: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.

**Summary: **No more secrets, no more lies. Andrea knows what she wants in her life and that means telling Neil the truth…even if it means losing him.

**Authors' notes: **Please read the end note.

**Thanks: **Cheers to **Phoenix Angelwolf** who reviewed the last story twice only to be beaten by **Gem6** who reviewed all three chapters, much appreciated you two! But I appreciate no less the reviewing styles of **Lornz, madz87, Fabio, Meegan Boulton, Storm** and **aerialplug**. Cheers guys, I look forward to all your reviews, multiple or not. **aerialplug** you never need to apologise to me for being lazy, I've made an art out of it :0) **Storm**, I thank you for reading all my notes and have to say I'm finding it hard to maintain my interest in episodes without Neil as well, we could bond over broken televisions. Ha Ha!

**My best wishes**: To anyone sitting or about to take exams, I look forward to reading fics from you all when the pressure is off.

**Disclaimers**: Truth is…I have no association with The Bill, shocking I know.

* * *

Andrea stares at the ring the next morning, sitting innocently on her bedside table but she doesn't put it on.

As she waits for her toast to cook she realises what she's done. Straight out of the shower, hair dripping wet down her back she'd slipped into her civvies not one of her more professional but seldom worn suits. She hadn't even noticed her actions and as she stares out her kitchen window and thinks, she realises there's never been any excitement for her new journalistic role. Forgetting the toast Andrea wanders to her bedroom and looks at the suit buried at the back of her wardrobe.

It serves only to cement the fact she can't do it, it's not what she wants and try as she might she can't see herself in journalism anymore. It has almost no purpose left for her anymore; there are more important jobs, a job that has value.

Cursing the toast that's burnt she knows it will be sticky but she has to be true to herself. She needs a day to decide how and what she's going to tell Bruce. She'll need something to bargain with and at the moment she has nothing but that doesn't concern her, what does is if he comes looking for her.

The toast goes in the bin knowing Neil is very much a part of her decision. She decides the only way she could leave policing is when Neil knows what she used to do, the words 'used to' brings a smile to her face…and if he can't accept her and it…then.

"You have to try, you can't just walk away." Andrea tells herself on the way out of the door. She refuses not to tell Neil, he deserves the chance to know and react, she can't just disappear…that would only hurt him more.

At the car Andrea turns around and goes back to the flat sliding the ring onto her right hand, further away than where she wore it before, an indicator of where they are in their relationship.

* * *

"PC Dunbar." Phil greets as Andrea hurries, late for her first day as a real copper. She hurries on, "Hang on."

"I'm late." She says between gritted teeth, it's not the start she wants to make but she's soon distracted as she follows Phil's eyes to where they rest on the ring on her finger.

"You had something to do with this." Andrea verbalizes her realisation.

"Wear it." He nods and leaves her looking down at her hand, being late forgotten.

She slips into the briefing room in the middle of Smithy's speech, it doesn't go unnoticed by Gina Gold, nor does the other.

The Inspector nudges Yvonne as the relief filter out of the briefing room. Gina turns her head in Andrea's direction and nods towards the obvious re-addition to her hand but Yvonne doesn't catch on to the game of charades.

"The ring's back." Gina Gold says in a low tone as they watch the back of Andrea pass through the door.

"What's going on, I thought they were fighting?" Yvonne sounds confused.

"Or they made up." Gina suggests.

"We've got this wrong." Yvonne says sounding confidant.

"We're just collecting evidence and trying to work out what's going on, no one's accusing anyone of anything." The Inspector reminds Yvonne.

"Right, under our hats," Yvonne doesn't sound convinced as she leaves her superior alone in the room.

* * *

The first call comes just after nine when Andrea should have reported for work and then one every half an hour until two. It's only when the calls stop does Andrea start looking for Bruce around every corner, knowing he'll turn up at any time asking why, with little care for the secret she's trying to keep from her colleagues.

She dares not think she's home free as she does the last of her paperwork that night before shifts end, she's right to do so. She pulls absently at her phone on her hip when it rings, not bothering to check who it is calling, she has three words to go on the document she's creating. "Hello."

"Hello, I'm out the front eating chips." He says like it's a riddle she has to solve, Andrea hurriedly types and proof reads her work.

"What?" Andrea questions eventually pressing print. She's not overly confidant in her tone but isn't about to let him know she's concerned about the repercussions of not turning up today.

"Why don't you come join me?" The phone line goes dead and Andrea quickly folds the print off into an envelope. In the locker room she slides it into the front pocket of her bag; she'll have to deliver it earlier than expected.

"What are you doing?" Andrea watches Bruce collect a plastic container of hot food. She's angry he's just shown up out the front of Sun Hill and has endangered her cover but she doesn't show it, after all it's a cover she won't be using for too much longer. More importantly she wonders why he doesn't appear to be angry. That fact makes her both suspicious and nervous.

"Indulging myself, you've eaten enough meals in the news canteen, better than here is it?" Andrea starts to feel nervous about what's coming next, she'd expected him to approach her with guns blazing, she'd probably feel more comfortable if he had.

Bruce moves away from the counter and Andrea follows him, plucking a chip from the container.

"I was you expecting you today." Bruce says casually and Andrea turns and rests her back against the counter again, staring off across the street. It's then she realises that she still has no reason, excuse or plan. "Instead I find you here in your copper uniform."

"I had to do a last shift; they wouldn't let me go until they could re-sort the roster." She knows it's likely to appease Bruce for five minutes, till he thinks about her words in detail. She's prepared to tell him the truth, she's itching to, just not out here; a scene is surely to ensue that would turn her future and plans for it into an explosion with fallout of the worse kind…not just for her.

"You're not quitting are you or you would have called." He leans next to Andrea with the same smirk on his face she hates, the realisation has come to him and Andrea isn't going to be able to put off extracting herself from Bruce, it will have to happen here and now, he doesn't leave things like this alone.

"No, I'm quitting you." Andrea says and once she's finished she feels a weight lift, Bruce's reaction is irrelevant, it's a first tiny step towards the life she wants to lead.

"Just me?" Andrea's not surprised he sounds hurt, she's long suspected he may secretly harbour a crush on her and his personalisation may confirm it. There are plenty of young enthusiastic journalists out there who'd kill for the opportunity she's had, she thinks he might throw this at her with spite.

"No, journalism all together," Andrea looks to Bruce for a reaction, he stares past her. "I'll come in tomorrow and give you my resignation formally." Andrea starts to walk away, still nervous because it was too easy.

"Andrea." She stops, she can see the front doors of the station, so close but she knows now it's going to get messy.

His hand cups her cheek and she knows he's thinking right now she just has cold feet about the new position or lack of it and he thinks she can be talked around. He doesn't know how set in stone she really is.

"I know I'm a bastard and I've pressed you on this job." And understatement Andrea thinks. "But you're my best reporter and you've got a big future." Flattery, at any other time it might work but her mind is made up.

"There are black officers inside that building who've been promoted but they're not incompetent, they're good at what they do and what I was doing lessens that and takes away from the good work they do." Andrea is strong and unforgiving in the words that come from her mouth.

"I don't understand, you're pissed about the story, that's no reason to quit, in the beginning you were so determined to do well, it was your story, and you pitched it to me." Bruce argues, Andrea knows it was just a leap pad hopefully to something bigger and better, something that matters and isn't so petty…she never got there in journalism but policing...

"If this were AIDS in Africa, ethnic cleansing in Eastern Europe, drugs in South America…but it's not." Bruce rolls his eyes.

"The stories we print affect peoples lives directly, everyday and where they live, we can't all be on a crusade to save the world." For a second the thought enters her mind that Bruce may have locked onto a reason, that she has chosen policing for glory from helping others rather than the selfless good of it.

"Well how dare the police service try and reflect the society it protects, how dare they hire people who understand the culture and customs of a significant part of the community you report to and because so few of them put their hand up and volunteer, of course they're valuable and are looked after by the MET." Andrea argues insistently.

"God, you sound like one of them." Bruce laughs and for a moment Andrea thinks he's not taking her seriously, this is all an act to get something from him.

"I am one of them and I hope you never need the MET's help." Andrea almost spits, she starts to walk away but Bruce calls out, Andrea remains with her back to him.

"You still owe me." Andrea drops her head and shakes it, this is just the beginning of the fight and right now he's angry he can't charm her into coming back. "You leave now and you short change me. All that money spent on you while you were at Hendon training, you'd never have survived financially."

"You got all that back in all those front page articles I fed you." Andrea spins around.

"And our circulation didn't go up."

"I don't care; you got more than enough out of me…with you Bruce there'll never be enough. You want Okaro's head on a platter but you're not going to get it from me. I'm through with journalism, I don't believe in what I'm doing anymore and it has no purpose for me…this does." Andrea indicates to her uniform.

For the third time she tries to leave and this time Bruce grabs at her arm, missing but it's enough to have Andrea spin around in surprise, her back to the station.

"I don't think so…" This time Bruce gets a firm grip on her upper arm, a sleazy smile on his face. Andrea struggles getting increasingly upset till tears threaten to spill and her arm aches from where she fights him but he's bigger and stronger than she. To Bruce's right, Neil steps out of the front doors of the station at first surprised to see Andrea out the front with someone and then shocked to see her struggle against the grip he has on her arm.

Neil watches for a minute, it's like a hideous car wreck he can't take his eyes from despite being upset by the scene before him.

"Please Bruce, I have a life here, I have friends, someone who loves me." Andrea begs as her tears start to fall.

"That explains all the reluctance, the backing off and the fact you were so often hard to get in contact with." He sneers.

"You knew I felt this way a long time ago, you suspected." Andrea pleads, she has given up struggling.

"You betrayed them from the beginning and now you're going to do it to me. You're a bitch with no loyalties and you'll betray them all again down the track." Bruce's words are venomous, Andrea saved by the fact she knows they're not true.

"No, I've found where I belong." Andrea pushes strength into her voice.

"Then I have no choice but to run your story. To expose you as final payment," His voice full of contempt.

"Bruce no, we can work something out, I have money." Her offer falls on deaf ears that ring with an astounded laughter.

"I'm not some banged up criminal you can buy off before he squeals police brutality."

"PC Dunbar." Neil's catch phrase fills the night quiet and although she doesn't look at him Andrea knows relief and other things paint her features. He'll send Bruce packing, giving her more time but a feeling of nausea quickly takes over as she has no idea how she's going to explain the situation she's in. She dares look at him, her eyes begging for help.

"Is that him?" Bruce asks and Andrea knows what he means.

"Yes."

"Well, well, DI Manson, married I believe, never could be one of your own rank could it." For a moment Andrea thinks he might ask why she didn't fall for him. "I just got an even better story."

"Bruce no, he has nothing to do with it." Her pleas for clemency and his co-operation are greater now. She doesn't care if he exposes her but she could never let it happen to Neil.

"He doesn't know does he?" Her non-denial is enough to tell Bruce what he already knows. "You stupid girl, what were you going to do, never tell him? Don't you think he'll feel angry and betrayed like the rest of them, he won't want to know you when he finds out – what did I say about betrayal, you're developing a pattern already." Bruce's words cut at Andrea.

"He loves me." Andrea says quietly as Neil is three steps away, she still has no idea how she's going to explain.

"What's going on PC Dunbar?" Bruce immediately drops his grip and steps back, Andrea does the same her eyes never leaving her former editors. She needs just that millisecond of notice if Bruce is about to jeopardize anything for her. Inside her heart is racing, the questions has been posed and she has no answer but her face remains stony.

"Andrea?" A smirk crosses Bruce's face, one that Neil misses; he's too busy trying to read the situation.

"He's been putting pressure on me for stories." Andrea sobs once, not for Bruce but for the lie she's about to tell Neil when all she wants is it all out in the open...even if it means losing the lot.

"What stories?" Neil flicks a look to Bruce, he gets nothing but Andrea sees recognition of who Bruce is come to Neil's face slowly.

"He's been calling me and turning up at the station wanting to know stuff, about the cases at Sun Hill." The tears roll down Andrea's cheeks, knowing the mess she's about to make her relationship with Neil starts now.

"You what?" Neil asks in disbelief looking at Bruce, his voice just above a whisper.

Disbelief soon turns to anger and Andrea doesn't think she's ever seen him look angrier, except maybe when she tells him the truth. She can't tell him now, she can't have him know like this here on the street from Bruce's mouth, the truth has to come from her.

"What does he have on you?" Neil's attention goes back to Andrea.

"Nothing, he's just been ringing me and turning up places I am."

"For how long?" Neil demands as softly as possible.

In for a penny, in for a pound, "Since I started."

"No Neil." Andrea protests as he goes to arrest Bruce. She can't have this on record, she can't have it dragged through the courts and she can't perjure herself on the stand. Life is meant to be simpler from now on, no more duel jobs, no more secrets, no more lies.

"You can't, it'll ruin me, people will never believe in my innocence, I'll be the PC you have to be careful what you say around because she might leak it to the press, the first time there is a leak I'll be the first person everyone blames."

Her DI doesn't back down, holding Bruce's hands behind his back.

"Please Neil, I love this job, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't do it anymore." Different person, another plea, "You and it are my life." From in front of him Neil doesn't see the raised eyebrow look Andrea gets from Bruce.

His hands are freed but Neil's not finished.

"Go before I arrest you, regardless of what PC Dunbar wants. I don't want to ever see your face around this station ever again and if I so much as get an inkling of a negative story about Sun Hill I'll make sure I close your grubby little rag down." There's more anger in Neil that when he was fighting Phil Hunter.

"Harassment of a police officer is a serious charge, who's going to read your paper if you have a criminal conviction, that'd be an ironic front page story for your paper. I'll be sure all your competitors get an exclusive comment from everyone from the Super to the ladies in the canteen about your arrest." Bruce remains stoic, his eyes on Andrea who's shaking, she still doesn't trust he's not going to open his mouth and as Neil threatens him further he has more incentive.

"Get out of here." Neil yells so loud and with sudden rage it makes Andrea jump.

"You have no idea." Bruce finally looks at Neil, a smirk still on his face, with the air of someone bored with the conversation and situation he walks off. It's only small relief to Andrea, it won't be the last she'll see of him and Neil will have lots of questions.

Andrea trembles, she won't look away from Bruce's back until he's gone from sight, a final sob slips once he's gone.

"Are you o.k.?" Neil steps in front of her and Andrea lets herself crumble into his embrace, with her arms around his neck she lets him take all of her weight. "Thank you." She manages.

"Shhh," He soothes one hand on the back of her head the other rubbing across her back. "It's o.k." But Andrea knows it's anything but, she's just added another lie to the tally she holds with Neil. He holds her till she starts to calm down, so many of her tears are for him and her lies, not Bruce. The fact that he's never held her so tight just makes it worse.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She knows the underling part of the question, he's wanted to help but has been locked out, it's not anger more relief she finally has let him in.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry." Andrea repeats, the all purpose apology, for lying to him for so long, for continuing to lie and the fact she'll soon break his heart.

"What for, I just wish you'd told me before now, all I want is for you to be safe and happy." It starts fresh tears because he loves her but soon the only thing he'll want for her is to be gone, he might even regret ever having her in his life. "I'm glad I know it's been killing me not being able to help you." His hands still and Andrea pulls slowly back from him. He covers each inch of her face with his eyes, making sure she's alright. From his pocket he pulls a handkerchief and offers it to her. "Let's go inside out of the cold."

Andrea closes her eyes and breathes deeply once to chase away the last of her emotion, she keeps his handkerchief tightly in her grasp.

"Gina Gold's gone home but you go first." A gentle guiding hand encourages Andrea from behind their cover to the station.

"No." Andrea shakes her head, with what she's about to do to him, this is the least she can do. Side by side with tear stained cheeks for Andrea they re-enter the station.

* * *

There's something about his office at night when the blinds are closed and the lights gently warm the walls to a golden colour they're not of a day time, it seems warm and almost inviting a far cry from the demeanour of the man who inhabits the office during work hours. Then it is harsh and full of severe angles, the artificial lighting of night brings with it a soft airbrushing making his office a comfort to her right now.

Neil puts a cup of tea on his desk in front of her and drags his own chair around to sit next to her. Across the desk is too formal as if the nailed pieces of wood physically separate them, as their ranks do and this isn't work business. She's grateful he realises that the divide is not necessary right now; it would only be counter productive.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Andrea can hear in his voice just how much he needs to know why. Andrea's not sure she can keep up the lie now; his office is the best location and dragging it out any longer… "Did you think you couldn't trust me?" The question is ironic because she's the one he can't trust and there's hurt in his words, immediately Andrea knows she has to continue with the lie.

"I was scared, I thought you and everyone would be mad or wouldn't believe me, that everyone would think I'd agreed to tell him things and I was lying to save myself because all those front page stories came out, I thought maybe people would think I'd invited and encouraged the harassment.

"You can tell me anything and I'll believe you." It's that total and utter trust he has for her that she's going to shatter. "He's why you were quiet or upset sometimes or those times you cried but couldn't tell me why."

When Andrea nods her confirmation, she sees the anger reignite in his eyes.

"I'll go and arrest him tomorrow." Andrea instantly panics; the fact that Neil seemed to be going to comply with her wish to let everything drop had lulled her into a sense of security.

"No, Neil, I just want it over and it is, he's not going to come near me again after tonight, I just want to do my job."

"You have to send a message to show him this is not acceptable." Neil pushes.

"I can't, I won't." Neil backs down as Andrea digs in her heels. "I won't even make a statement." He lets it drop and they sit in silence and sip their cooling tea.

When Neil's goes back on the table his hand remains wrapped around the cup, he looks like he's tossing up whether or not to say or ask something,

"He was harassing and intimidating you, no one, especially me would blame you if you leaked anything."

"I didn't, ever, not once." The look of horror on Andrea's face works, Neil thinks it's because she thinks he suspects she's responsible for the front page stories, her horror comes from knowing it's true and just how close he's getting.

"I didn't for a second thinks you ever did." Neil says quickly reaching for her hand to squeeze it reassuringly.

"He asked me things about my friends." Andrea keeps real tears inside her this time, Bruce's probing into Yvonne, Lance and Leela caused her no small amount of stress.

"What else?" Neil moves his chair next to hers, their knees almost touching.

"He must have others at other places because sometimes he asked me to confirm things," The truth in the wrong context.

"We have to alert the Super, others at Sun Hill might be going through the same thing you were." Neil springs into action mode again and Andrea reins him in again.

"No, please, no one will ever trust me again and without that I'm as good as finished." Neil's hesitant but can't refuse her wishes.

"When did he first approach you?" He seems to accept her request for this to go no further than them.

"The week after I arrived, I was walking to my car around the corner from here, he asked me how I was liking Sun Hill I thought he was one of us on the way to work. Then he said he'd read about something in the local paper and started asking me questions about it, I thought he was just a curious citizen then. It took me another week to realise who he was when he showed up again, but I never told him anything."

"I know." Neil smiles reassuringly. "How did he get your number?"

"He asked me my name the first time we met; I suppose he got it out of the phone book."

"So he knows where you live." Neil says almost gravely. "I've seen his number in your mobile." Andrea tenses.

"I did that so I'd know when he was calling and could avoid him, Marilyn told me he came to the front desk one day and said he was my brother, I was out on a job but he needed to call me about my sister, could he have my mobile number because he's forgotten it, of course I wasn't at home and he already had that number."

"She believed him?" Neil asks sounding astounded. "You don't have a sister."

"The accent and he's charming and convincing when he needs to be." Andrea blames.

"You should have done something, changed your number." Neil suggests.

"He'd have found out again, at least I could ignore the calls he placed to my mobile." Andrea sighs.

"Did he hurt you like tonight?" Instinctively Andrea looks at her right arm that no longer throbs.

"No. Not physically anyway," Lies built on lies, till she doesn't know what's true anymore Andrea thinks to herself. The negative answer is a big relief for Neil.

Right then and there Andrea decides to tell him, she can no longer stand the gauntlet of emotions he's running for her, all good when they should be hurt, anger and disgust.

"Neil…"

"Is this what you think I won't like about you, what you can't change." Andrea swallows, she doesn't have to broach the subject herself, he's just opened the door. He sees the look on her face. "I'm sorry it's not the right time for that question, I'll take you home." Before she can say anything Neil's up collecting his coat and the opportunity is lost.

He follows her downstairs and waits till she changes; on the way out he puts his coat over her shoulders, a gentle guiding hand on the small of her back.

Countless times she's sat here in his car, parked out the front of her flat; he'd followed her in his car having barely let her out of his sight. This wasn't just another one of those ordinary occasions. He turns to face her as Andrea remains staring at the back of her car in front of them.

"Are you going to be alright?" Neil asks concerned and Andrea turns nodding yes with a reassuring smile.

"Make sure you lock everything." He reminds her.

"Thanks." Andrea leans across to kiss him platonically on the cheek, she remains there, her lips finding his in a kiss that becomes passionate, it's she who pulls away reluctantly.

"Sorry." Andrea apologises but his next words indicate that he didn't mind.

"I could come up and sleep on the sofa," A tempting suggestion.

"I wouldn't want you doing that." A part of Andrea knows it means she'd have to tell him the truth, it can't be tonight now, she needs the events of tonight to fade, in a couple of day's time she will. He thinks she's talking about the sofa.

"I could still come up." Andrea still feels it's dangerous but she's feeling increasingly tired and knows she'll probably give in. She wants him to come up despite knowing he shouldn't.

"Not tonight." Though it must seem a stupid statement to him, now is a better night than most given what he thinks she's just been through, when she needs comfort even if most of it is a lie. Before she gives in Andrea opens the car door letting in the night cool.

"Take tomorrow off, I don't want to see you at work," Andrea looks back wondering how she got so lucky and why that luck had to come now, during this most complicated part of her life. Had it not come now she might still be a journalist, working still for Bruce on the job he'd lined up for her.

"You were my knight in shining armour tonight." Andrea pauses. "Come upstairs for a while." Neil walks up the stairs with a protective arm around her.

Cally jumps once up onto Neil at the front door and then darts quickly down the stairs, nature called a long time ago.

"I'll go." Neil says. "Lock the door after you." He waits till Andrea is secure before following the puppy down to the grass outside.

From her bedroom Andrea hears Neil's key in the lock and the one sided conversation he's having with their pet.

"You're getting so big." Instantly Andrea feels guilty. "Do you bark? You've got to bark and protect Andrea if someone comes to the door." As if on cue Cally yelps and Neil laughs.

He sits on the sofa, head in his hands when Andrea comes and joins him dressed in pyjamas.

"You should get changed." She says making reference to his things that still reside in her flat.

"I'll only stay until you fall asleep." Always a gentleman he falls back into the depths of the sofa and Andrea manoeuvres herself until she's lying on the sofa on her back, legs drooping over the arm of the sofa, head resting against Neil's legs. He reaches to hold one of her hands and strokes her forehead with his other hand.

Cally pushes her way in, lying between Andrea and the back of the sofa; it's a space barely big enough for her.

"Try and go to sleep." Neil encourages and she turns onto her side, head still using his legs as a pillow, one arm wrapped around his knees.

Andrea realises she's probably had her last kiss with him and last embrace, but exhaustion is setting in and she's too tired to stay awake and be upset.

In the morning Andrea finds herself in bed under the covers, Cally breathes rhythmically, she'd be lying on guard at the end of the bed if it weren't for the fact she's fast asleep. On the pillow next to Andrea a note wishes her sweet dreams, it's not signed.

"Neil." She calls sleepily but there's no reply and no one on the sofa when she checks, in that moment Andrea feels very alone…all of her own doing.

* * *

This is a two part story, not the usual three. Lauren. 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Andrea knows she'd stare too, the rumour has obviously gotten around and although only some of the faces are familiar to her she's sure they all know who she is. Some stare perhaps with jealousy, her front page stories have been good, others because they've heard the circumstances under which she'd quit.

She pushes through Bruce's office door without care or consideration of who might be inside or what he's doing. She slaps the envelope down on the desk in front of him, the one that contains the print off she was going to hand him last night during the confrontation at the front of the station.

He's clearly not impressed to see her, interruption aside. "What's this…a personally delivered notification of a lawsuit?"

"It's my resignation." Andrea takes the bag off her shoulder, the same one she had last night.

Bruce puts the envelope on top of the bag and pushes it back towards Andrea. Her press pass and other miscellaneous items she'd collected from the office slide back towards her. "Save it, you're fired." Bruce says simply and without regret.

Bruce doesn't like to lose and Andrea knows this is about to get ugly. "I hope you being a cop works out because I'm personally going to make sure you never work as a journalist in this country ever again."

From his computer he pops up a copy of tomorrow's front page, he swings the monitor around so Andrea can see the headline. She reads in horror.

**MET scandal: Sun Hill sex romps**

In bold underneath both Andrea and Neil are named and shamed.

**Married DI in affair with probationary constable**

What it lacks in body because of the large heading, it makes up for in spite. The article puts recent poor statistics down to Sun Hill officers being too busy with their personal lives but that's where the generalisations end, the rest is about Andrea and Neil, fortunately it lacks detail about their relationship, detail that Bruce will never find.

In the side column is a file photo of Andrea from the news office, the one of Neil is from an old press conference.

Though it doesn't expose Andrea's role at The Daily News that's the least of the damage, Neil's marriage and career would be over, as would Andrea's relationship with him but none of that worries her.

"You won't run it; it'll never get off your computer." Andrea says confidently, there's no way she's going to let the story run, the humiliation for her she can take but for Neil…

She's hoping he might be able to forgive her; this article would make things unforgivable.

She's confidant Bruce has no intention of running it anyway, it's just meant to scare her, a means for him to regain some face.

"Oh won't I?" She hates the arrogance he possesses.

"If you do the next letter that comes across your desk will be a lawsuit, slander, defamation of character, you name it. Then I'll have you charged with stalking, intimidation and harassment. I have witnesses, phone messages, emails, times, dates, places and a DI with an excellent reputation as a witness to your physical intimidation. You on the other hand have nothing to prove I ever worked for you, stupidly you decided to pay me from petty cash and to not have a record of my employment anywhere – to protect your undercover asset." Andrea snatches back her resignation letter.

"You manipulative bitch," Bruce yells standing up and behind Andrea some of the news staff look into the editor's office. "You used the DI to get me off your back and to get you out of this job."

"You made it this difficult Bruce, I was desperate and I only did what I needed to do to get out, I would never usually dream of stooping to such a leve. There are plenty of young, naive reporters out there who'll be willing to do your dirty work for you, some of them as easy on the eye as I am. You could have just let me go." Andrea pushes the bag of items from her former life back towards Bruce. "You knew that's what I wanted."

"My only consolation is knowing DI Manson will never accept what you've done to him and everyone and your new job will be over before it starts." It stings because Andrea knows it's true and that she needs options of which she has none at the moment but she's not going to appear weak in front of Bruce.

"If I so much as smell you around me from now on…" But Andrea needn't bother threatening.

"Save it Andrea, you've made it quite clear what you'll do to me, guess you need to think I still want to associate with you for your own ego." Bruce sneers.

"Delete the article Bruce." Andrea says gravely.

"I'll give you all the copies and you can cry over them when your precious DI dumps you." Bruce pulls a computer disk from his top drawer, he's trying to work Andrea up but she absolutely refuses to get upset.

"Thank you." Andrea says when Bruce passes the disk over; she immediately dumps the disk in his bin without destroying it, just to prove how confidant she is. It probably would have said more to not ask for the article at all.

"Goodbye Andrea." Bruce says giving Andrea a hint she doesn't need. "You'll be back." He says after she's slammed his office door

Outside the offices of The Daily News Andrea breathes a heavy sigh and feels the pressure she's been under for months lift. It feels so good she wants to run, kick, scream, cry and kiss someone but knowing what she has to tell Neil keeps her down. It doesn't help that Bruce's words about Neil echo in her head either.

* * *

"Andrea are you coming?" In front of a blank computer screen Andrea is still without a move to protect herself in case Neil decides he can't live with what she's done. 

"Right behind you," Andrea says opening the MET's intranet page where she's assaulted by the logo. She finds the menu and clicks on the positions vacant page, scanning the list of detective inspector and sergeant's roles available city wide. At the bottom of the list there's a possibility – an assistant press officer for the Canley Borough as well as a Communications Officer in Northern London.

She prints off both and takes them home with her, forgetting about the pub. She's excited about the possibility of a job that combines journalistic and policing skills, one that's away from Sun Hill but still in the borough.

Later that night on the sofa with Cally chewing on a plastic newspaper toy from Neil, Andrea realises she's ridiculously qualified in some areas for the communications officer job in Northern London. She scans the list of her responsibilities:

_1. Implementing public relations campaigns._

_2. Creating press releases._

_3. Preparing and managing press conferences – sometimes acting as spokesperson._

_4. Making sure borough officers get accurate information they need._

_5. Writing articles and taking photos for the police magazine._

_6. Preparing and updating the content on the intranet._

_7. Training and advising officers on the street in how to deal with the media effectively and proactively._

And her favourite

_8. Scanning local press daily to check issues are dealt with appropriately._

A smile comes to her face as she thinks if it were Canley how she could stick it to Bruce.

Turning the print out page the job specifies she needs to be able to work under minimal supervision and take personal responsibility for projects while being on call for advice or attending major incidents in order to control media and to let operational officers do the job they're there for.

She reads out loud the knowledge and experience she needs ticking them off as she goes, next to her Cally doesn't stir.

_1. Experience writing press releases and articles for local and national publications._

_2. Experience organising and managing press conferences._

_3. Experience of multi-agency work._

_4. Experience of liaisons with staff at incidents, briefings and meetings._

_5. Experience giving media interviews._

_6. Knowledge of police practices and legislation which impact on media coverage._

_7. Excellent written and oral communication skills._

_8. Show initiative, creativity, and innovation as part of a team._

_9. Understanding of personal commitment to equal opportunities._

_10. Ability to prioritise and manage workload efficiently and effectively and remain positive in challenging situations._

_11. Flexible approach to work._

_12. BA Honours in Broadcast Journalism or National Council for the Training of Journalists, National Certificate Examination or equivalent._

_13. Computer literacy, particularly Microsoft Office._

_14. Able to travel outside borough for work and meetings._

Andrea knows if it wasn't that the job is in Northern London its big appeal would be she could still have contact with her friends and colleagues; they wouldn't be completely left behind, of course Neil is included in that.

In her favour is the fact she's already written about crimes in newspapers, her short hand skills will come in use and she has a fair idea what message The MET wants to get across, her media law knowledge is up to scratch; she knows what you can and can't say when someone's arrested or a big incident is playing out.

On the other hand she has limited experience dealing with the press and it's something not in her favour, having been on the other side could still be a valuable asset but it's likely to hold her back in a way. The more she thinks about it the more the job is one someone moves into after experience in a lesser position, like the Canley position. Andrea looks over the lesser responsibilities of the assistant press officer and the lesser money. Knowing she has a better chance at this job, a job she needs right now and she won't have to move, keeping her closer to Neil and her friends outweighs the financial issues.

At her computer Andrea updates her resume and fills out the job application form. The job comes under the Directorate of Public Affairs department and she would be working out of the same building as the Borough commander, Barton Street.

She omits any reference to Bruce and her work at The Daily News meaning her journalistic experience dates back before she trained to come to Sun Hill. She still has plenty to show in the interview from her time in Scotland, The Daily News is useless to her anyway because none of her articles have her name on them.

Cally licks the envelope for her, the taste of the dry glue as hideous to her as it is to Andrea. Two out of three Andrea thinks, one was quitting Bruce, two is new job to protect herself and three is telling Neil the truth. She hopes two will be as successful as one without the hassle; she has nowhere near the same hope for three.

* * *

Number three comes the next night, in the car park Neil drives past Andrea on her way to her own car, he doesn't acknowledge her although she's alone and she can't help but feel it's a bad omen. Andrea goes straight from work to his flat, parking on the street behind the building. She stares across the gate, through the garden up to the light that glows from his flat. 

Andrea can't get herself to move, her mind so actively against what she's about to do it refuses to move her limbs, her heart knows better, whatever the outcome this has to be done and by her – it's the only honest way to do it. No more lies, it's the only way she can go further with him, if he still wants her.

Andrea shakes as she locks the car and walks to the front of the building, her hand hesitates as she goes to knock on the door, still with the inclination to turn back and never tell him – he doesn't deserve the hurt that will come from the truth.

Her first knock is hesitant and barely creates an echo on the stairs, cowardly she stands expecting him to have heard her, she does it better a few seconds later.

Neil's surprised to see her but invites her in immediately, the fact that this is maybe the first and last time he'll invite her into his flat isn't lost on her. Despite it now having an inhabitant the flat is still hollow, devoid of any comforts of home. There's nothing decorative everything has a function, a purpose, the only sentimental item a framed photo of them on top of the TV. The longer Andrea looks at it the harder the truth becomes.

"It's not much; I haven't had a chance to…" Andrea's eyes stray to the wall they painted, her hand still printed there, a happy memory about to become one he will probably paint over. She remembers last time she was here, happy then sad, making love to forget on the floor, sadness this time…

Neil misreads the look on her face. "Has Bruce made contact?" He doesn't wait before hitting her with the next question. "Are you frightened?" She's losing her nerve and needs to say what she has to now.

"Neil."

"I wasn't completely honest with you about Bruce Malcolm." Andrea can feel herself getting upset already. Neil is none the wiser, confused about what she means, thinking maybe she did leak something under pressure. "Bruce hasn't been harassing me for stories, I worked for him."

The colour visibly drains from Neil's face and although Andrea knows he understands he asks out of shock, just in case it's a joke or a dream. "I don't understand."

"I'm a journalist, a reporter and I have been all along. I was sent in undercover to research an expose on the MET." The devastation on Neil's face makes Andrea feel sick.

"So I'm confused, the other night what was that?" Shock and disbelief have yet to dissipate; Andrea knows anger will soon follow when he finds out the true nature of the other night.

"I needed to get Bruce off my case, I wanted to resign but I knew he wouldn't accept it without exposing me, I needed leverage."

"So you used me to cook up some charges against him, what were you going to do if it got to court?" He asks incredulously.

"I would never have let it get that far and I never meant for you to get involved." Now a small amount of pleading appears in Andrea's voice.

"But you saw an opportunity so you didn't push me away." Neil shakes his head realising just how blind he's been.

"Yes." Andrea says becoming visibly upset at her actions and the pain they're causing him.

"Don't you dare cry, you don't get to cry, you're not the one who's been lied to, used and betrayed." Anger has overcome the shock; he rubs his hands over his face.

"This is what Bruce meant when he said I have no idea." Neil makes the connection.

"Yes." Andrea says barely.

"All those leaks...that was you wasn't it? All the phone calls you wouldn't answer, the times you went out, when I drove around the block supposedly because of Yvonne. There's no point telling me I'm wrong. This was never about one story; it was about whatever you could get your hands on."

Andrea doesn't need to confirm anything, like he says he wouldn't believe the denial anyway.

"I can't believe I didn't see it." His voice is abnormally high and almost wobbling with the hurt she's caused him. "I loved you, trusted you and all the time you were giving stories to The Daily News." Andrea feels Neil start to slip away as he gets more upset. "You used me, we were practically living together and you only wanted me as an in house source."

"That's not true." Andrea defends knowing it's useless.

"All that stuff when we were apart about wanting to see more of me that was a lie, why, were you running out of stories so you needed me closer?"

"No, you and I, we're separate to my journalism."

"Is that a lie? How am I supposed to trust you or anything you say, you've probably got an exclusive lined up to blackmail me with in case I let everyone at Sun Hill know who you really are." It cuts close to the story Andrea read on Bruce's computer the other day.

"I would never do that to you." Andrea's adamant. "That was never what you and I were about."

"How much were you being paid?" The question throws Andrea.

"I was paid a small amount on top of what the MET was giving me for doing this job." Andrea plays it down.

"You were earning more than me weren't you?" Again Andrea doesn't need to confirm anything. "You renovated your flat on that money and I stupidly forked out for everything, all those weekends, the restaurants and you were worried Philippa would notice when you could have paid for both of us."

"This is not about the money." Andrea digs in.

"You're right, it's about if you ever used any information I naively gave you." Andrea wants to start begging for forgiveness but she knows Neil won't stop till he has every detail, it's the cop in him and he deserves nothing less.

She takes too long to reply and Neil starts guessing. "The ballistics report," Andrea's lost the ability to speak as if confirming things will make it worse than it already is, it can't get any worse. "You kissed me right after I told you that and the next day plain as anything you denied it."

"That wasn't me. Bruce got it straight from the lab." Andrea's not going to let herself be saddled with something she didn't do, there's too much she's done already.

"What then, there's something?" He waits but Andrea's not forthcoming.

"That's why you were so keen on clearing the Superintendent's name; it was you who told the world about the cannabis in the first place. You genuinely wanted to help him did you?" Neil throws her words back at Andrea, hurt piled with disgust.

"We'd just made love for the first time when I told you that, I was lying naked next to you with my arm around you and you said you could keep a secret. What more were you thinking about?" Neil emphasises the 'you', "That I'd be a good source?"

"No." Andrea says forcefully. "That no one had ever made love to me like you did before and that I could fall in love with you and that scared me."

"And I'm supposed to take your word for it am I?"

"I swear Neil, I didn't plan to fall in love with you, my motives for being with you were about you, not your position and I know I should have steered clear but so should have you and neither of us could because we were falling in love with one another."

"Will you listen to yourself, look at yourself, I've fallen in love with someone who doesn't exist."

"Yes I do." Andrea pleads as panic floods her, more tears flow and she feels she desperately has to claw her way back, he's leaving. "And I love you; I want to have a future with you."

"You used me from the start, betrayed me from the first time we were together." Neil reminds her incredulous she thinks they can get back from this.

"I did it that one times; I never wanted the story to run the way it did. I was stitched up; I wanted to go down the conspiracy angle. I felt sick when I saw the story."

"Well I know how it feels. Is that all?" Neil demands.

"I never used anything else that you told me." Her voice betrays her desperation for him to believe her.

"I guess the only thing left now is damage limitation." Neil sighs going to the window.

"Telling the Superintendent could implicate you as well." It's not the smartest thing Andrea could have said.

"And not telling him wouldn't do me much good either." Andrea knows he's right.

"There's no need for anyone outside us to know, Bruce knows he'll be charged if he comes near me again and he'll be sued if he prints anything."

"Thanks to me, I guess you'd be calling me as a witness to the supposed harassment." Neil laughs once at the situation. "Or should I be grateful you saved the station a front page embarrassment because none of us realised who you are."

"Was…who I was," Andrea makes the distinction, Neil laughs at the semantics.

"You think that's going to matter to the people you work with everyday."

"Whether they know or not is up to you, you're the only one I've told and the rest would be rumours."

"Mud sticks Andrea, you said that yourself." It's a slap in the face. "I loved you; I believed in us, I had every intention of marrying you and starting over, the house, the kids, the whole nine yards." Its Andreas turn for the life to drain from her. "Yeah," He confirms. "I hope you don't mind if I'm not as vocal in your defence as you were of me."

"I've applied for another job, elsewhere in the MET, an assistant press officer."

"A sideways move so what?" Another slap.

"I can slip away, no one will ever need to know and we can still be together. You can't tell the Super, I'll be finished."

"You should have thought of that before you told me who you are, I can't let any feelings I might have for you get in the way of what's right."

"So you'll sacrifice your career for me but you also hold the right to sacrifice mine."

"You lied!" Neil yells and Andrea jumps.

"I'm so sorry Neil." He instantly resents her tears. "Please forgive me, I didn't know I was going to fall for you when I arrived here and I believed what I was doing was right, for the good of the community. When I realised I loved you it was too late." Her impassioned plea makes Neil laugh.

"You think it's good for people to be reading untruths about the Sun Hill Superintendent, you know the man what did he ever do to you to deserve your betrayal, for you to put his career on the line? Do you think it's good for people to know about a serial sniper, to have them scared?" He sounds amazed she believes the words she uttered.

"I did then, I don't now." Silence prevails and Andrea feels exhausted. "I'm just a simple Scottish girl Neil, I can't play golf or cook and I feel in love with a wonderful man and I found myself in a complex life that has hurt him deeply."

"I like that." Neil laughs once. "So neatly tied up, so pleasant, what a way with words you have, no one will have any trouble believing you're a journo. All those brilliant press releases you're going to write." There's a slight nasty tone in his words, Andrea accepts it has the right to be there. When Neil finally turns to face her again there are tears which trip Andrea's immeasurable guilt. "Why did you have to complicate my life, being with you was all I wanted and that was complex enough before now."

It surprised Andrea as he starts to laugh.

"You're right, I don't like this about you and you can't change it but is there more? Is this the only thing I won't like about you?" His eyes are intensive, no sign of a hope the answer is no.

"No there isn't, isn't this enough?"

"You got that right." Neil shakes his head looking at his feet. "You've made a right fool of me, you couldn't possibly love me as you proclaim."

"How can you say that?" The words almost get caught in her throat. "Who took you golfing, sat with you and talked while you fished, I painted with you, I got photos of us together developed, I helped you with work you brought home, I listened when you had a bad day, I went away with you, I wouldn't have fought for more time for me with you."

"All self serving actions," Andrea's not going to lose this one.

"I would have moved on if I didn't love you, playing second to Philippa, adjusting my life for you, telling lies to my friends – not being able to tell anyone about you, the cases I worked with you when we were apart, I talked you down from killing Phil Hunter, I listened to you talk about your concerns for Colin, I patched you up in the middle of the night, I got you back on track when you were a mess in the garden down there…how could you think I don't love you?"

"But I was honest." Neil yells. "From the beginning, even when you pushed me away, even when Philippa was leaving. I don't remember you slipping in, oh by the way I'm an undercover journalist when you were telling me you got us a room at Jim and June's wedding."

"Even if it comes out later I'm a journalist which it won't, there'll be nothing to suggest you knew anything about it." Andrea's desperation is back.

"I don't know…" Neil struggles. "I don't know what to believe anymore." It hurts Andrea.

"No more secrets, no more lies, when you're divorced we'll both start with a clean slate." Andrea steps closer, grateful he doesn't back away. "You promise me no more excuses, cancelled dates, no more guilt and no more pulling away. I promise you no more secrets and lies." There's silence and she dares hope she's gaining back something. "I won't lose you Neil, I refuse to…I love you to much." Her hand cups his face.

"It's too late." Neil says pulling away and Andrea crumbles into the sofa. She trembles, cries and feels sick all at once. "You humiliated me. You're not the person I thought you were. You lie, manipulate, do you have a conscience?"

"I thought the story would make a name for me and I could get out of the small time Daily News stuff." It falls on ears that aren't interested.

"I have nothing." The hurt and humiliation in Neil's voice punches her in the heart. "I've lost everything, no son, no wife, no you and a job I'm just clinging onto and in a matter of hours I've gone from loving you immensely to feeling so stupid – it's over, we're over."

"No Neil." Andrea says barely audibly.

"You need to leave now." He's not angry in his tone but it's obvious the fact he wants her to go isn't because he wants her to stay.

Out of her bag Andrea pulls her diary, she holds it out to Neil who's getting more upset with every second she's still in his presence. "My diary, each day has two pages, the left one is for work, and the right is for personal stuff. This is me, everything, no secrets and no lies; you're in there as is The Daily News. Nothing I told you about my family or my history is a lie, I only omitted journalism. I don't know how else to show you I love you and you can trust me and I'm sorry."

Reluctantly Neil takes the leather bound book of Andrea's thoughts and feelings. "I don't know what I'm going to do with the information about you."

Andrea nods and says the hardest words she's almost ever had to but ones that go some way to showing she trusts him. "O.k. you do what you think you have to."

Outside and back in the car Andrea doesn't cry, she's not angry, just empty with a great sense of loss. Like Neil she has nothing now either.

* * *

The End. To be continued in the next story…Story ID - 2954769

* * *

**Authors end note: Clarification:** I saw the position of a press officer as a natural move for Andrea once she'd told Neil what she did as an occupation as well as being a copper. (I say as well because I think Andrea genuinely liked being an officer at Sun Hill station.) It will take her away from Sun Hill and gave her distance from Neil and hopefully a reason for him not to reveal to others what else she has done in the past as an occupation. I see it as a natural combination of the skills she already has for a job she loves - policing, it was October 2005 when I wrote the move on paper. At that time I didn't realise a press officer was going to be introduced to The Bill. 

I still know nothing of Mia Perry and what her role entails; over the next however many stories I'm pretty much making it up as I go, I've read the MET's media relations policy on the net and have based Andrea's duties on a job description I read for a press officer job in Nottinghamshire, it fit pretty well with three profiles (day in the life stories) of press officers from Gloucester, Norfolk and Essex, so I figure I'm not totally talking out of my derrière.

I'm not going to hold this story up while I wait to find out what Mia Perry does. Feel free to tell me any similarities or differences with what I have Andrea doing here and in the future; I'll be sure to take them on board. I guess my overall point, like the author note number four in the last story is that this aspect of my story I can claim honestly I came up with, it's not a tweaked idea like some of the others I've borrowed.

* * *


End file.
